Flippin your fins, you don't get too far, legs are required for jumping, dancing

It’s exactly three months to the date since surgery.

There has been some progress. I almost have full ROM although not comfortably. I can nearly sit back on my heels but not quite, I can do a hamstring stretch holding my foot, and I can bend my knee to almost the same degree as the other. I’ve started driving to work and I’ve been able to go shopping in busy shopping centres. Stairs have been my nemesis for so long now but I mastered them last week. I’m now able to go up and downstairs one foot at a time without holding on. Admittedly it’s a bit bouncy and not altogether stylish but at least I'm not holding people up so much!

On the flip side, I’m having a few issues with straightening and trying to hyper-extend.

I’ve started back at hydrotherapy. It’s lovely being in water, everything feels so much easier! I may choose to become a mermaid and live in the sea. I’ve got some great exercises using weights and floats – all to get my quads back. They’re still awol.

Generally I’m walking much better. I did try heels the other week but that didn’t go too well. So it’s sensible flat shoes with good grips for the time being. I may have to rebel against this self-imposed rule for our work Christmas party next week however.  

Stop press: I ran across the lounge at the weekend! I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened. I was probably rushing for something. So I’ve tried running gently on the spot since and it seems ok. Hoping to be able to go swimming in January but we’ll have to see.

All things considered, I feel ok but it still seems so much of an effort.  Every time I get up out of a chair or take a step I have to think about what I'm doing.  I'm starting to wonder what I did with my life before I had to fit in physiotherapy ....

It’s getting very chilly here in London town. I’m really hoping it doesn’t snow. Slippery pavements are a worry I don’t need right now.

More soon ....

Green eyed monster

241 days since the last time I ski-ed and 64 days post surgery.

Going back to work has been absolutely exhausting. The first week was the hardest, this week has been slightly easier. I’m enjoying the social aspect of it but concentrating was difficult after seven weeks, plus concentrating on being so careful all the time is just as tiring. I’m managing to do some physio during working hours but there’s nowhere really very private so I’m always a bit on edge in case someone walks in. I try and go for a stroll outside when I can. One good thing about being back is the stairs. I've been asked why I don't use the lift but the stairs are great because there's a bannister on each side so I can practice while taking some of the weight with my arms.

I’m wearing my snow boots constantly. They’re anything but elegant and it’s tricky finding outfits that will work with them (!) but I witnessed someone slipping on a wet leaf recently and, although he found it quite amusing, that absolutely can’t happen to me.  So sensible snow boots it is. Who knows, maybe this student look will catch on.

Generally things are ok. It’s quite tough at times though. Being back at work makes me feel like life is normal again but it’s not. It makes me more aware of everything I can’t do. I can’t socialise unless it’s local. I can’t go to the shops at lunchtime or go for a run. I’m so envious of everyone; people think nothing of squatting down on their heels to reach into the fridge or running up the stairs two at a time.

I’m having a few issues straightening my leg and then immediately bending so that’s something to keep an eye on. The bending however is getting quite good. I must be at about 130 degrees now as it’s close to matching my other leg which is 140. I can’t kneel down yet though or sit cross legged.

The other day I was reaching across the kitchen bar at work and filling a glass with water from the filter tap and it suddenly occurred to me that I was leaning forwards on my bad knee with all my weight on that side. I hadn’t even thought about it. A small subconscious movement which means a lot.

I’m trying the gym again next month. And hopefully the incision on my thigh will have healed in the next few days and I can start hydrotherapy. I miss exercise more than I ever thought possible. I’m craving that feeling you get after working out. That post exercise glow when you’ve pushed yourself and you’re aching - but in a tingly good way. I feel sluggish and lazy. I’ll probably ease myself back into it by going swimming – hopefully in the not too distant future. I think I’d be ok to go now but I’d have to do the crawl and that’s knackering. Breast stroke would twist my knee too much at the moment. I’ve missed dancing more than anything over the past eight months. Even more than chocolate chip icecream when I was dieting. As soon as I’m mended I’m taking every class going – street dance, zumba, ballroom ..... But for now I'm continuing life as a couch potato.

Setting the alarm again

I went back to work on Friday. I’ve been away seven weeks. They were very pleased to see me back – I think my absence has been quite tough on everyone.  Since I don’t feel I should be driving in rush hour and, because I can’t get on the tube, my work are paying for cabs to take me to and from the office.  I’m very lucky.

I’ve decided to put the gym on hold.  I’ve been twice now and I don’t like the way my knee feels afterwards. It feels like it’s going to crack and is uncomfortable. I've only been doing a few minutes on the bikes and rowing machines but maybe it’s a bit soon to be going. My PT has suggested some leg strengthening classes which take place at the hospital once a week so I’m keen to find out more about that.

Today I bought some Bio Oil. It’s supposed to be good for scars. So I’m just starting using it – you have to use it for a minimum of three months so it could be a while before I can see any results.  Apart from the one on my thigh the scars aren’t that bad really but I may as well give them the best chance of fading so I can dig out the denim shorts next summer.

Went out last night for Halloween. It was scary being in a busy bar and, after being pushed a few times, I sat down like Baby in the Corner and let the others get the drinks for me!

I'm sleeping in a brace because I worry about bending my knee in my sleep but hopefully soon I can say tatty bye to all of them ...

Two PCLs, the gym and a party

Seven weeks post op tomorrow.

This week I had my six week post surgery check up. I was a little anxious about it. I mean I don’t know if I’ve been pushing the physio too much or what all the different pains and twinges are so it was a fairly big deal and I just wanted to know the graft was ok and happily installed and comfortable in its new home.

So it was a huge relief to know that, not only is everything ok, but my injured leg is on track to become stronger than my other. My other knee has slightly more laxity now. Bizarre! I’m so happy and relieved - I put on a dance album and boogied around the kitchen when I got home. Don’t tell anyone ....

I found out what all the various incisions are, from where the graft went in and out, where the camera went, where the water pump was etc. Possibly not interesting to anyone but me – but I really wanted to know. I’m so fascinated by the whole clever procedure. The operation sounded very complicated but I got the gist. I think.

Surprisingly my hamstring hadn’t been used as I was originally told – instead a man made graft was inserted. I can’t remember the name of the material. Bit too late for me to argue about that but as long as it works I really don’t care.

From what I can gather, I now have two PCLs in my right leg. The original one is pretty much rendered useless and has been stretched so much that it’s unable to spring back into shape. And the new one is obviously the graft. My ACL was apparently slightly lax and flopping backwards but that’s ok now as I understand. I looked at all the pictures but, without a medically trained eye, it’s pretty difficult to make out what’s what.

I’m feeling sturdier and less delicate by the day although I still have a problem with people coming near me in the street. I’m under no illusion about the amount of physio I have do in the coming months. I’m not phased by it though. I think, because I have a sporting background, I’m equipped to deal with the work ethic. Sure, it gets a bit boring but I’m completely focused on it. I’m currently doing three half hour sessions a day and going outside and walking (without crutches or brace) once a day.

And it’s time to introduce my new bionic knee to the gym. I went along yesterday.  I’ve been aching ever since - I think my muscles have quickly become used to doing absolutely nothing and didn't like waking up. I used the exercise bike, the rowing machine, the wobble cushion, hand weights and thigh presses. Today I’ve been out walking for about half an hour. Got caught in the rain but it was good! I think I’ll try the gym again tomorrow.

On Saturday I went to my friend's wedding drinks in London. I've been out locally but this was the first time in the big city. It was really great to be frocked up, coiffed and socialising. I had to sit down for a lot of the party but I felt I was starting to feel like myself again.

Tomorrow was the date I was originally given for my surgery when I rang in the summer. I don’t know if it was ever official as I didn’t receive anything in writing but, when I look at how far I’ve come, I’m so happy my operation was brought forward by seven weeks. I can’t imagine being at the start of that journey now.

Confidently vulnerable

Six weeks today post op!  This is quite a milestone.  How am I feeling?  Well my knee is stiff and sore but I’m feeling more confident following a good physio session yesterday.  I had a go on the exercise bike and enjoyed a light jog on the trampette!  I’m now allowed to use some gym equipment.  Anything which ensures my feet are firmly planted on something.  This means cross trainers, exercise bikes and rowing machines.  Not skis!

I’ve been in touch with my gym at work and I’m going to have a look around when I return but I’m almost certain I’m going to sign up.  Much as I’d prefer to be running outside, it sounds great for now and has all the equipment I need to get my knee moving.

The crutches have been fairly well used but they’ve now been put to one side.  I’m really working hard on my walking.  I’m limping quite a bit but more in the outside world than inside.  It’s because I panic a bit when I’m around crowds of people.  Prams and children come flying towards you and your natural instinct is to protect your injury.  Recently I was walking outside thinking I was doing quite well and a lady came over to me and asked if I was alright and did I need any help.  When my physio showed me how I’d been walking I could see why!  I really must do better at this.  It’s partly uncomfortable and partly a mental challenge.

I’m not doing great with stairs – not one foot per stair anyway.  I can get up ok if there’s a banister on either side but going downstairs is tricky.  Transferring all my weight over to my knee whilst bending it is just something I can’t deal with at the moment.  My physio has given me a good exercise which involves stepping onto and over a large book.

The number of physio exercises is building.  They include squats, knee bends, balance work, leg strengthening etc.  They're keeping me busy.

Today is my first day without any medication.  I’ve been taking anti-inflammatories for six weeks now and it’s been suggested I come off them and just use the ice.

I’ve been doing some work from home which has made me feel a bit useful. And last week I was away visiting my family which was such a refreshing change of scenery.  I baked a Curly Wurly cake which was indulgent but nomtastic and worth every calorie!

Hollywood - do your research

I watched a film the other night called Just Wright.  It's about a physio therapist and her client who is a professional basketball player. I didn't know this until I was watching it but the basketball player tears his pcl.  And looking at the MRI scans (which are much clearer than mine incidentally) it's a complete tear.  But, this being Hollywood, Queen Latifah has him back to playing in a professional match in six weeks.  Seemingly by doing a few sit-ups.  Hmmmm.  I appreciate it's not a medical documentary but come on!  Worth a watch though.

Trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpbFC2hTgno&feature=related

Another physio session today.  I've been a bit confused as to whether I should be using crutches, the brace, both or neither!  Today I've been told to not wear the brace and to try and manage with one crutch.  This is good.  I'm not sure my biceps can take it otherwise.

I also need to build up my quad muscles as my leg is really skinny now and there's no muscle there to support the knee.

I managed to bend my knee to 118 degrees although not comfortably (definitely couldn't sit watching tv like that) - so that's an improvement on last week but it will start to slow now I believe.  My good knee is bending to 140 degrees so some way to go.  And I'm about a degree or two from getting my leg straight.  Lots of work to follow over the next couple of weeks.

I have to jiggle my knee cap around.  Ick.  I had read about this but, since no-one talked to me about it, I thought I'd got away with not having to gross myself out.  Actually it's not as bad as it sounds in reality.

A few of us went for a picnic by the river yesterday.  It was lovely - the last bit of proper sunshine this year I expect.  The only problem was getting up after sitting on the ground .....

Bring on the bling!

I am loving Jessie J's customised crutches - these would make me feel a whole lot better!  She's even wearing surgical stockings!

Plodding on ....

Three weeks today post op.

Things are pretty much the same. I’m doing physio three or four times a day and icing regularly. I’m practising my walking outside, although yesterday I came a bit unstuck when my knee suddenly became really painful down the inside and I struggled to get back because I couldn’t weight bear.  I’m hoping everything is fine, it feels ok again today.  Whatever ok is. 

My incisions are starting to heal but I have a wire (from the stitches) coming out of the one on my shin and a wire coming out of the one in my thigh.  I wonder if I pull them my leg will gather up like an elasticated waistband??

I'd been considering going back to work next week but this just isn’t feasible.  I still feel way too fragile.

So three weeks means I can finally say goodbye to my surgical stockings!  Just as well really since there’s not much left of them....

I found this little animation.  It's actually an ACL reconstruction but, although obviously different, has a similar procedure. For anyone considering surgery, I think it's quite good at showing what the surgery involves without showing the real life detail! Please don't watch if you'd rather be blissfully unaware of what happens after the anaesthetic but if you're like me, and want every last detail, then click away ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q96M0jRqn7k

Hello world

Day 16 post op.

Today I decided to try walking without brace and without crutches.  Outside.  Scary!  But if my PT says I can do it then who am I to argue?  I walked to the shops and back.  I suppose it’s about a half mile round trip although I’m not sure as I’m not great with distance.  I thought 13.1 miles wasn’t all that far til I ran a half marathon last year...

I took my crutches with me just in case but I didn’t use them.  Of course I was walking very slowly and deliberately which is the antithesis of my usual hurried style.  I was very aware of people around me and worried about catching my toe on any jutting paving slabs.  I caught my toe twice shortly after the accident and my knee was bent back.  I can’t describe how much that hurt so I really don’t want anything like that to happen as it would put too much strain on the new graft.

I’m finding it a struggle to get downstairs with one foot on each stair.  I just don’t have the confidence to do that quite yet as it involves so much bending.  But going up wasn’t too bad as long as I was holding onto the handrail.

I’m now taking over the counter pain and inflammation relief so I hope that’s it now for the prescription drugs.

People keep asking me if I’m going to go skiing again.  It’s really difficult to answer because right now I can’t even think about it.  I have brand new shiny ski boots which I’ve hardly worn so it would be a real shame not to give them another outing but I definitely won’t be going any time soon.  Certainly not as soon as next season.  I may consider having a lesson at an indoor snow centre to get some confidence back but even that’s not on the cards in the near future.  I definitely intend to dance and run again though as long as everything heals up like it should.

So I’m working on the new exercises.  This exercise, bending and straightening of the knee with resistance, is my favourite because it feels like it’s strengthening the knee without any discomfort.

Where shall I hang my gold star?

I’m back from physio and feeling good.  Last week I was bending my knee to 73 degrees but today I managed to bend my knee to ..... drum roll ..... 105 degrees!!  I’m so chuffed!  I don’t even think it was my best bend actually.  Sometimes I can do it better than others.  I'm so competitive with myself!

I also managed to get up and down the stairs with one foot on each stair.  OK it was a bit shaky but I did it!  My PT said he was ‘amazed’.  So a big fat gold star for me.

If only I could celebrate with a nice glass of merlot ....

I’ve been given some new exercises which include squats and balancing, and even one using resistance.  You only get out what you put in and I'm certainly putting the work in.  My right quad has disappeared and I really need to work at getting the muscle back.

It’s going to be really sunny in London this weekend which is hugely annoying.  It’s no fun when you can’t go anywhere.  I’d much prefer it to be raining.  Hmmmpfh.

Aw - a quick pic of my cards including one signed by all my work colleagues.  Cute!

EmBRACE-ing a small taste of independence

So coming off the painkillers perhaps wasn’t my best idea.  I managed ok all day but couldn’t sleep that night so ended up popping a pill at 2am.  I just don’t like taking medication.  I’ve cut them down but I think I’m going to switch to over the counter medication when I go to the pharmacy tomorrow.

My shin has been really sore, not all the time but it feels like it’s burning sometimes.  I’m not sure what it could be.  It’s possible it’s the blood from the bruising and the liquid draining down from my knee with gravity.  It would be nice if there was a professional I could ask but I don’t get to see my surgeon until the end of October.  Perhaps my new PT will know.

Two weeks post op today!  And that means one thing.  I’m allowed to take off the brace!  So I’m slowly wandering around my home without a brace and without crutches.  I feel very delicate and vulnerable – like a new born foal.

Since the sun was shining, earlier today I ventured over to the green across the road to practice my walking, read my magazine (book still hasn’t arrived!) and get some air.  I managed it on one crutch – it’s probably about 300 yards.  I also wore the brace for this little venture – just to be on the safe side.  Inevitably, the sun went in as soon as I got there but, hey, it was a change of scenery.  And I got some great tips from Cosmo – I may have even found a new moisturiser...

Last night I had my first night out post op which was very exciting!  I’m a very sociable person and rarely turn down an invitation so it’s difficult for me to be missing out on all the fun stuff that’s going on.  But, not to worry - we went to the pub across the road.  Not a great venue, nor a very atmospheric one – and I can’t even have a drink yet - but it was really nice and the evening went very quickly.

My surgical stockings are starting to drive me a bit bonkers now.  Two weeks of wearing them day and night means they’re literally falling apart.  I have to keep darning them – who darns things any more??  But it has to be done as I’ve only got one pair and another week to go.

So I have a physio appointment tomorrow.  I was bending my knee on the table at 73 degrees last week.  If there’s no improvement I’ll be very unhappy.  I’m hoping to be at 90/100. 

I’ll report back.

Desperate to make a splash

Today I decided to try and stop the painkillers.  So far it’s not too bad.  My knee is achy and sore and I have a few twinges here and there.  It might help my physio exercises if I take them but I’ll see how it goes. 

I’m still getting my knee bending to about 90 degrees.  Hope I can push it a bit further by the end of the week.  I'll get frustrated if I don’t see a marked improvement.

I literally cannot wait to get back in the hydrotherapy pool.  It made such a difference before the surgery.  It’s not possible until my incisions have healed properly I guess but I’m taking a dip just as soon as I’m allowed!  I really really can’t wait!

I’ve had to tighten my brace.  It was tightened on Thursday at physio but I suppose my thigh is shrinking!  I’ll keep doing the leg raises to build up muscle!  I've done four lots of physio today followed by ice packs.

Also today I've been getting stuck into plenty of personal admin tasks which I never seemed to have time to do til I became housebound - and checking several times to see if the postman has brought my new book.  He hasn’t.  My friend has bought me a copy of Cosmo so fashion and gossip will have to do in the meantime.

And I thought I’d just add a picture of my poor little (well not so little) knee now the plasters are nearly ready to come off.  Perhaps don’t look if you’re having your lunch.

Book me a flight to Tokyo

I have no idea if anyone is reading this blog.  It's good for me to chart my recovery process for my own personal use but if it helps anyone in the meantime, well that can only be a good thing.

Another week off work stretches before me.  I've not been bored at all yet.  I've had lots of visitors and things to do.  There's plenty of time for boredom to kick in though.  I think this second week may get quite tough.  There was so much going on during the first week.

Well it's now been 11 days post op.  I'm allowed to take the plasters off today and have a shower without wrapping myself in clingfilm but I couldn't do it!  One of the larger incisions still looks a bit raw so I might give it another day or so.  It's not nice seeing so many scars on my leg - there are six incisions (some smaller than others) all together - but it's a small price to pay for an active lifestyle I reckon.

My thigh is positively shrinking!  After only 11 days!  So today I added leg raises to my physio routine and I've also been walking around my home in my brace but without crutches.  It's great being able to carry things but I hope this will give me some muscle strength - and I have been told to weight bear after all so hopefully I'm not pushing it too soon.

Got to wear the surgical white stockings for another week and a half.  This look is all the rage in Tokyo - if I could wear heels I'd really be on trend over there!

Woof woof

It has now been eight days since surgery.  I’m feeling better in myself since I cut my painkillers down to one at a time rather than two.  I’m finding I’m really tired in a morning, I have to force myself out of bed really otherwise I’d just stay there all day I’m sure.  Although that was pretty standard before surgery!  I guess my body is healing and I need to rest.

The past couple of days I’ve been able to venture outside.  My Mum has been driving me around although it’s very difficult getting in and out of a car since I can’t bend my leg all that well.  I can’t fully weight bear and I’m not going very fast on my crutches but it’s nice to get some air.  I’ve customised my crutches.  You’ve got to keep it funky people!

I went to my first post operative physio session yesterday.  It was quite positive.  I think I’m on track with progress.  Lying flat I’m able to bend my knee to about 75 degrees at this stage.  Sitting on a high chair I reckon I can get it to about 90.  So disappointed to learn that my PT has another job and is leaving me just when I need her the most.  I feel like an abandoned puppy.

Also yesterday I found out that my PCL tear was a grade II/III which surprised me as I definitely heard it snap and thought it was a complete tear.  I suppose it was hanging on by a thread as I had a lot of laxity.  My next physio appointment - with the new guy - is next week.

I have a few exercises to be getting on with.  Not as many as I’d like – I want to speed the process up as much as possible – but if we have to go at it slowly then I’d better follow the advice.  The exercises are squeezing my quads by flexing my foot, and sitting on the table bending my knee as much as possible.  And of course learning to walk properly.

To check my incisions were healing up ok, I went to see the nurse after physio.  All seems fine and I'm allowed to take the plasters off this weekend.

I was supposed to be going to a summer party tomorrow but it’s not going to be possible.  My dancing feet are up on the sofa until further notice.  Sniff.

Cling film - not just for sandwiches

So it has now been a few days since surgery.  Lots of visitors, cards and chocolates!

The bandages came off on Saturday.  I’m quite squeamish and had to lie down afterwards.  Good job I'm not a leg model or I'd never work again - lots of lovely scars.  I’ve changed the plasters but I’m keeping the trendy surgical stockings on!  I have to wear them day and night for three weeks.  It's hot under the duvet I can tell you!

I’m trying to keep my feet up as much as possible but the rest of the time I’m managing to get around my pad on crutches.  I’ve not been outside yet though.  I’ve been told I can weight bear but psychologically it’s quite difficult.  I’m not quite sure how much I can push it and I’m looking forward to seeing my physio next week for some advice.

The most exciting event so far is that I’ve been able to have a shower.  My friend brought me some Waitrose cling film to wrap round my leg.  I practised on my arm first and, once I was confident it worked, I wrapped my leg up.  Sexy!  But how good did it feel to wash my hair!

In more exciting news, my cross stitch embroidery of two tango dancers arrived today.  Embroidery is not really my thing but I refuse to watch daytime tv all afternoon so it'll keep me out of trouble.  I've also ordered a tonne of dvds.

Would love a glass of merlot but got to stay tee total until I'm off the medication.  Trying to keep cheerful and picture myself a few months down the line taking a dance class!

Not your average day

So it had been nearly six months since my tumble in The Alps and my knee was not even close to feeling any better.  Time for surgery! 

It was scary.  I can’t lie.  Everyone else in the waiting room seemed really relaxed, reading books, chatting and making jokes.  My problem was I was too focused on the risks when I should have been thinking about the benefits of having a fully functional knee again.

I arrived at the hospital at 7:30am after four hours sleep (four hours more than I expected) as I was told and was thrown into action. I was measured for surgical stockings, had my blood pressure taken again and given a locker. Then my surgeon’s deputy came along to ask me lots of questions and make me sign a very scary consent form, not forgetting to inform me that I was undergoing a ‘major operation’. He proceeded to whip out a marker pen and write PCL with an arrow pointing to my knee on my shin.  Branded.

If that wasn’t enough, the anaesthetist then took me to one side and told me that when I woke up I’d be in ‘extreme pain’ for about six hours and would be on morphine. By this point I was really doubting my decision to go through with this. I mean the surgery is optional, right? I could live without it. Of course I’d be confined to a life without my beloved dance, without running, without step aerobics. Hey – most people would love an excuse to lie on the sofa night after night.

These were the thoughts that were running through my head and, even as I was being given the anaesthetic, I wondered if everyone in Theatre 4 would be really mad at me if I changed my mind.

Waiting to go into theatre, my heart was beating so fast.  I could hear it on the machine.  Everytime an anaesthetist mentioned anything about the surgery it would speed up again.  Honestly I’d be useless at taking a lie detector test.

And then I woke up with a heavily bandaged knee and was offered a chicken sandwich and a hot chocolate. I felt elated. The relief it was finally done was enormous.

The operation had taken two hours. I don’t know exactly what has been done yet, I’ll find out at my next appointment.  I’m not sure if any of my old PCL was used in the reconstruction or a new one was made completely.  It’s also likely that there was further damage to my knee that needed to be sorted out so I’m waiting to hear about that too.

The physiotherapist came to see me and suggested a couple of small exercises to be starting with.  Then I dusted off my crutches and made an attempt at the stairs before chatting to the nurse about medication and going home.

Quite an eventful day.

I've just had surgery - and this is why

I had my PCL reconstruction two days ago.  I'm going to blog about the experience but, first, this is my story of how I tore my PCL and why I needed the operation.


Six months ago I was blissfully ignorant as to what a PCL was. 

My story is this - I felt something snap in my leg when I was skiing in March this year. My leg went floppy and caused me to fall (I think I hit an icy patch and turned badly but I really don't know). I was stretchered off the mountain and an MRI scan confirmed it to be an isolated PCL complete tear. My holiday was ruined and I was pretty much housebound for five weeks following my return to the UK.

I started with physio and hydrotherapy in April shortly before returning to work and almost (but not quite) had full movement in my knee five months down the line. I still felt very injured though and had pain (mainly on the inside of my knee) and swelling.  Some days were better than others - some days I would limp, some days I would walk fine. I could just about sit cross-legged although not comfortably for very long and I could almost touch my bum with my heel whilst doing a hamstring curl - although I had  to release it very slowly as it hurt to do so!! I had started to get a cracking/clicking in my knee when walking which I found really uncomfortable.

I'd started swimming (although sometimes this was diffficult but I was just desperate to get fit again) and had even tried running both with and without the bulky brace. The running was hard though and I sadly had to pull out of the half marathon I was due to run in October. Despite this, I thought I was doing ok but then a few weeks ago I stood up, my knee cracked and it completely gave way. It had been very delicate since and I felt like progress had stopped.

I'd met with my consultant a couple of times and he'd tried to put me off having the surgery. It's a technically difficult operation and rarely performed. My consultant described the surgery as 'challenging' and a 'big deal'. But, unless I was prepared to give up my active lifestyle, then a reconstruction was the only option.

My surgery was scheduled for 8 September (two days ago) and I'll write about the experience shortly in my next blog.

Why am I blogging?

Hi out there and welcome to my blog.


I'm based in the UK and writing a blog about my experiences with a complete PCL (posterior cruciate ligament) tear in my right knee.  I want to talk about the injury, the NHS, the repercussions on my lifestyle, physio, surgery and recovery.


The reason I'm doing this is because there is so little information available.  It's a rare injury and, although I've spoken to people with ACL injuries, I've had no-one to compare notes with about my PCL rupture.  I hope people will find this useful and can use this blog as a support network for anyone going through this.


A more detailed blog, with pictures, to follow soon.