The great outdoors

Nine months post surgery. Things are progressing ok I think. Slowly, but ok.

I’ve recently started running again. Only for 20/30 minutes at a time. It’s quite tough but I’m persevering. I get twinges in my knee but it’s my shin that really hurts. This morning I strapped my shin up quite tightly and it was much better. Even though I’ve been swimming two or three times a week since February I feel quite unfit and I have to take a breather half way through my jog. But it will get easier, I’m sure of it. No more half marathons for a while though ...

I was managing high can can kicks at a dance rehearsal last week.  At first I didn’t think I’d be able to do it as it involves jumping on one leg but really it’s just a confidence thing.

Kneeling down now and leaning back on my heels is much easier.  It’s not 100% comfortable but much better than it was.

I had a sports massage on my knee a couple of weeks ago which felt fantastic and I ran up the stairs afterwards! Going back for another massage tomorrow.  I've been thinking about accupuncture for the swelling and discomfort but it's ridiculously expensive and I'm not even sure it would work.

And I’ve been able to wear heels from time to time which feels great. 

So that’s the recent news from PCL repair land.  Would love to hear from anyone going through this.

One reason to go running - the gorgeous summer scenery!

Screws, more surgery and the Olympics!

Well good news first. I feel like I'm reclaiming my life back a bit. I'm back on stage! I've just started rehearsals for a comedy play which will be performed at the beginning of July. And I'm going to be in the Olympics! I'm part of the Paralympic Opening Ceremony on 29 August and will be performing some form of dynamic dance/movement based role. So that's all very exciting!  Rehearsals start in July so I've got to make sure my knee is a bit stronger by then.

It’s now seven and a half months post op and I’ve just had another check up. I saw a different consultant this time – even though he didn’t perform my surgery it was good to have a chat with someone else about it all. Fresh perspective and all that! He was very reassuring when I complained about still having pain and explained that it would most likely be a year post surgery before I start to feel remotely normal.  I’ve recently been having some crunching/cracking around my kneecap and he said it could be sorted out with anthroscopic surgery which would involve the back of my kneecap being scraped. Ick. The screws could also be removed at this time as the ligament would be embedded by then. I’m not really keen – I feel my knee has had enough trauma without being prodded and poked further.  I mean, never say never, but I’ll wait to see if things improve when my muscles return from their very long holiday …

Ever since the surgery I’ve been meaning to ask what the bump is on my shin near the scar. I’d thought it must be sutures/stitches or swelling due to the incision but it has never gone away. I was gobsmacked when the consultant said it was most likely to be the screw! I thought the screws were drilled deep into my bones. Just to make sure, we did an x-ray and there it is. The screws are right near my skin so one is protruding slightly causing the bump. It doesn’t bother me, it’s a bit icky - and looks like a screw from B&Q - but it’s also quite cool!

So here is the x-ray photo.  If you look really closely you can see the man-made pcl at the back of my knee and running from screw to screw.

I’m swimming a lot and still going to the gym although finding the gym a bit boring. I have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted to start exercising when I was unable to. I just don’t like gyms much and would rather be doing something fun. Not to worry though because it’s paying off. My quads might still be MIA but I’ve lost nine pounds! Hoping to start aqua aerobics soon which I think will be a good way of introducing aerobics back into my life with the support and protection of the water.

15 March 2011, 4pm local time .......

It’s exactly one year to the day since I had my skiing accident.  It feels very bizarre and I’m trying not to think about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’.  Almost blissfully unaware of how long the journey would be, I honestly believed I’d be up and about within a few weeks.  I remember the snap and the pain being really intense when I fell but the edge of the pain evaporated slightly after a few minutes – leading to a nauseous and light headed feeling - and I thought maybe I’d just bashed it and would still be skiing later that week.  I was so wrong and I think if I’d known what was to come I’d have been inconsolable.  This is a serious injury and a mammoth recovery process.

Last week was six months post surgery and this is where I am right now.

I’ve been in the gym or the pool nearly every day since the beginning of February.  In the gym I use the treadmill for 15 minutes, the exercise bike for 15 minutes and the rowing machine for eight minutes.  I then work with the swiss ball.  In the pool I usually do 40 lengths (or 32 if I’m pushed for time/energy!).  I also do physio twice a day, once at lunchtime and once in the evening; leg raises with weights, squats, balance and muscle contraction.  Despite all this, my quads are still AWOL.  I’m working so hard, I don’t know how to get them back.  Anyway, I’ll plough on…

This is a good leg strengthening exercise with the swiss ball.  Lying on your back, lifting up your body so you’re resting on your shoulders, and bringing the ball towards you with your feet.  Twenty times.  I remember I could hardly do this a few months ago.  Now I find it quite easy.

I started running in small bursts.  First on the treadmill and then round the block.  It was kind of ok but, after running round the block on Sunday, my shin was so sore I’m stopping.  Actually, it seems power walking on a gradient burns calories much faster than running on the flat.  Who knew?  It’s disappointing not to be able to run as that’s what I do but I have to be sensible and patient.  I don’t know when I went from being able to run a half marathon to struggling to get round the block.  My work colleagues are all running the Sport Relief Mile and I’ve been asked to join in.  I’m thinking about it.  You’re allowed to walk it!  Last time I ran six miles for Sports Relief but, right now, a mile seems like a very long way.

I auditioned for the Olympics Opening ceremony with my knee heavily bandaged.   I made it through round one and got a recall audition.  It went ok except it was as if they put everything I couldn’t do into the routine – jumping, running and kneeling.  I did my best, using my good leg to take the vast majority of the impact (it practically seized up the next day) but, at the time of writing, I’ve not heard how it went.  Rehearsals don’t start til June so, if I did somehow do enough to get in, hopefully by then I’d be a lot stronger.

As mentioned, I’m getting pain in my shin but also in my kneecap and on the inside of my knee.  It comes and goes.  There's also some 'cracking' from time to time when I straighten my leg.

I'm signed off from physio.  I know what I have to do but I can go back if I have any questions/concerns.

My parents were visiting at the weekend and we went for a long walk in Richmond Park – two hours in fact.  And I was fine.  I still think about every single step though as I’m walking – I wonder when that will go.

So that’s how it’s all going right now.  Hope to see an improvement sometime soon but normal feels a million miles away ...

Nine days of fitness

Just a quick one.  It's five months today post surgery so I thought that was reason enough to blog.

I've started with the exercise.  I have now worked out for nine consecutive days!  I've been doing a combination of zumba (dvd), exercise bike, rowing machine and swimming.  None of which is really my chosen exercise - I'd rather be taking a dance class or running by the river - but the fact that I'm able to exercise again at all makes me very happy!

I've not found it too uncomfortable.  It's a bit painful when I do certain stretches but otherwise all good so far. 

I apparently have a weak VMO muscle which is affecting my knee mechanism so I've got to build that up again to support the joint.  It feels good to be doing something pro-active.

I went to the leg strengthening classes (first of six) but have decided to leave it.  I feel it would have been much more beneficial a month or two ago.  It was all a bit easy now I've progressed to the gym.  Great class and a great idea but for earlier stages in recovery I think.

I'm taking Cod Liver Oil capsules twice a day.  They're supposed to  help with the swelling.  Who knows?  I can't take anti-inflammatories every day so it's worth a try.  Too soon to say how's that's going so watch this space.

That's it really for now.  More soon.

Working up a sweat!

So today is 28^th January and in ten days it will be five months post surgery. I can hardly believe it’s been that long. 

I don’t feel anywhere near being right yet but I think I’m coming along, slowly! The good news is I can start swimming and I’m going next weekend. I intend to go 2/3 times a week and also partake in a bit of zumba. Really need to shift this stone in weight I’ve put on due to this long period of inactivity.

So I was at my parents’ over Christmas and we’d been watching a film. When the dvd finished a shopping channel popped up on the screen and they were doing zumba. I started to join in and happily discovered I could actually manage it. Not full out yet (no jumping) but I can certainly do most of it – enough to work up a sweat which was such an alien feeling! So I’ve ordered a dvd and, although I’d prefer to do a class, at this stage it’s some form of exercise I can do in my lounge.

I had a check up earlier this week. I get the impression my knee is never going to be perfect but it’ll be as good as it can be. As long as I can do everything I want to do then I’ll have to be happy with that. The main problem seems to be muscle wastage. No matter how many leg raises and squats I do, I just don’t seem to be getting any muscle back in my quads. Apparently I should be on a bike and running by now so my surgeon didn’t seem too happy with my physio programme.

Next time at physio I’m going to be referred to a gym which will be free of charge for six weeks. I need to get on the bike for half an hour at a time (yawn) as that’s what will work my muscles in exactly the right place. I’m also starting leg strengthening classes next week (a six week course). Not quite sure what to expect with that but I’ll certainly go along and find out.

I saw a private physio therapist over Christmas. I felt like I was cheating on my regular PT but I desperately needed a second opinion. She actually tore her acl just over three years ago, skiing like me.  She said her knee is definitely not the same but she’s sporty and it hasn’t stopped her doing anything she wants to do. She gave me a few new exercises and a bit of reassurance. She showed me a great tip for kneeling down; kneeling on a cushion with a pillow under your bum – makes it easier to sit back on your heels.

Watched a documentary on Darcey Bussell over the holidays. Was surprised to learn she’d torn her acl but she was back dancing five months later. It must be because ballet dancers have quads of steel. And Manchester United’s Vidic has torn his acl – the photo of him landing on a twisted knee made me very squeamish. No-one ever tears their pcl though!

Of course lots of people I know are going off skiing now which makes me very gloomy! I’m not even close to thinking about going back yet so I just have to force a smile when they tell me what a fabulous time they’ve had.

And I have an audition for the opening or closing (not sure which) ceremony at The Olympics in a few weeks. I’ve no idea what I’ll be asked to do. I won’t be able to dance for a while yet.  But I’ll go along and see what it’s all about.

Flippin your fins, you don't get too far, legs are required for jumping, dancing

It’s exactly three months to the date since surgery.

There has been some progress. I almost have full ROM although not comfortably. I can nearly sit back on my heels but not quite, I can do a hamstring stretch holding my foot, and I can bend my knee to almost the same degree as the other. I’ve started driving to work and I’ve been able to go shopping in busy shopping centres. Stairs have been my nemesis for so long now but I mastered them last week. I’m now able to go up and downstairs one foot at a time without holding on. Admittedly it’s a bit bouncy and not altogether stylish but at least I'm not holding people up so much!

On the flip side, I’m having a few issues with straightening and trying to hyper-extend.

I’ve started back at hydrotherapy. It’s lovely being in water, everything feels so much easier! I may choose to become a mermaid and live in the sea. I’ve got some great exercises using weights and floats – all to get my quads back. They’re still awol.

Generally I’m walking much better. I did try heels the other week but that didn’t go too well. So it’s sensible flat shoes with good grips for the time being. I may have to rebel against this self-imposed rule for our work Christmas party next week however.  

Stop press: I ran across the lounge at the weekend! I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened. I was probably rushing for something. So I’ve tried running gently on the spot since and it seems ok. Hoping to be able to go swimming in January but we’ll have to see.

All things considered, I feel ok but it still seems so much of an effort.  Every time I get up out of a chair or take a step I have to think about what I'm doing.  I'm starting to wonder what I did with my life before I had to fit in physiotherapy ....

It’s getting very chilly here in London town. I’m really hoping it doesn’t snow. Slippery pavements are a worry I don’t need right now.

More soon ....

Green eyed monster

241 days since the last time I ski-ed and 64 days post surgery.

Going back to work has been absolutely exhausting. The first week was the hardest, this week has been slightly easier. I’m enjoying the social aspect of it but concentrating was difficult after seven weeks, plus concentrating on being so careful all the time is just as tiring. I’m managing to do some physio during working hours but there’s nowhere really very private so I’m always a bit on edge in case someone walks in. I try and go for a stroll outside when I can. One good thing about being back is the stairs. I've been asked why I don't use the lift but the stairs are great because there's a bannister on each side so I can practice while taking some of the weight with my arms.

I’m wearing my snow boots constantly. They’re anything but elegant and it’s tricky finding outfits that will work with them (!) but I witnessed someone slipping on a wet leaf recently and, although he found it quite amusing, that absolutely can’t happen to me.  So sensible snow boots it is. Who knows, maybe this student look will catch on.

Generally things are ok. It’s quite tough at times though. Being back at work makes me feel like life is normal again but it’s not. It makes me more aware of everything I can’t do. I can’t socialise unless it’s local. I can’t go to the shops at lunchtime or go for a run. I’m so envious of everyone; people think nothing of squatting down on their heels to reach into the fridge or running up the stairs two at a time.

I’m having a few issues straightening my leg and then immediately bending so that’s something to keep an eye on. The bending however is getting quite good. I must be at about 130 degrees now as it’s close to matching my other leg which is 140. I can’t kneel down yet though or sit cross legged.

The other day I was reaching across the kitchen bar at work and filling a glass with water from the filter tap and it suddenly occurred to me that I was leaning forwards on my bad knee with all my weight on that side. I hadn’t even thought about it. A small subconscious movement which means a lot.

I’m trying the gym again next month. And hopefully the incision on my thigh will have healed in the next few days and I can start hydrotherapy. I miss exercise more than I ever thought possible. I’m craving that feeling you get after working out. That post exercise glow when you’ve pushed yourself and you’re aching - but in a tingly good way. I feel sluggish and lazy. I’ll probably ease myself back into it by going swimming – hopefully in the not too distant future. I think I’d be ok to go now but I’d have to do the crawl and that’s knackering. Breast stroke would twist my knee too much at the moment. I’ve missed dancing more than anything over the past eight months. Even more than chocolate chip icecream when I was dieting. As soon as I’m mended I’m taking every class going – street dance, zumba, ballroom ..... But for now I'm continuing life as a couch potato.