Plodding on ....

Three weeks today post op.

Things are pretty much the same. I’m doing physio three or four times a day and icing regularly. I’m practising my walking outside, although yesterday I came a bit unstuck when my knee suddenly became really painful down the inside and I struggled to get back because I couldn’t weight bear.  I’m hoping everything is fine, it feels ok again today.  Whatever ok is. 

My incisions are starting to heal but I have a wire (from the stitches) coming out of the one on my shin and a wire coming out of the one in my thigh.  I wonder if I pull them my leg will gather up like an elasticated waistband??

I'd been considering going back to work next week but this just isn’t feasible.  I still feel way too fragile.

So three weeks means I can finally say goodbye to my surgical stockings!  Just as well really since there’s not much left of them....

I found this little animation.  It's actually an ACL reconstruction but, although obviously different, has a similar procedure. For anyone considering surgery, I think it's quite good at showing what the surgery involves without showing the real life detail! Please don't watch if you'd rather be blissfully unaware of what happens after the anaesthetic but if you're like me, and want every last detail, then click away ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q96M0jRqn7k

Hello world

Day 16 post op.

Today I decided to try walking without brace and without crutches.  Outside.  Scary!  But if my PT says I can do it then who am I to argue?  I walked to the shops and back.  I suppose it’s about a half mile round trip although I’m not sure as I’m not great with distance.  I thought 13.1 miles wasn’t all that far til I ran a half marathon last year...

I took my crutches with me just in case but I didn’t use them.  Of course I was walking very slowly and deliberately which is the antithesis of my usual hurried style.  I was very aware of people around me and worried about catching my toe on any jutting paving slabs.  I caught my toe twice shortly after the accident and my knee was bent back.  I can’t describe how much that hurt so I really don’t want anything like that to happen as it would put too much strain on the new graft.

I’m finding it a struggle to get downstairs with one foot on each stair.  I just don’t have the confidence to do that quite yet as it involves so much bending.  But going up wasn’t too bad as long as I was holding onto the handrail.

I’m now taking over the counter pain and inflammation relief so I hope that’s it now for the prescription drugs.

People keep asking me if I’m going to go skiing again.  It’s really difficult to answer because right now I can’t even think about it.  I have brand new shiny ski boots which I’ve hardly worn so it would be a real shame not to give them another outing but I definitely won’t be going any time soon.  Certainly not as soon as next season.  I may consider having a lesson at an indoor snow centre to get some confidence back but even that’s not on the cards in the near future.  I definitely intend to dance and run again though as long as everything heals up like it should.

So I’m working on the new exercises.  This exercise, bending and straightening of the knee with resistance, is my favourite because it feels like it’s strengthening the knee without any discomfort.

Where shall I hang my gold star?

I’m back from physio and feeling good.  Last week I was bending my knee to 73 degrees but today I managed to bend my knee to ..... drum roll ..... 105 degrees!!  I’m so chuffed!  I don’t even think it was my best bend actually.  Sometimes I can do it better than others.  I'm so competitive with myself!

I also managed to get up and down the stairs with one foot on each stair.  OK it was a bit shaky but I did it!  My PT said he was ‘amazed’.  So a big fat gold star for me.

If only I could celebrate with a nice glass of merlot ....

I’ve been given some new exercises which include squats and balancing, and even one using resistance.  You only get out what you put in and I'm certainly putting the work in.  My right quad has disappeared and I really need to work at getting the muscle back.

It’s going to be really sunny in London this weekend which is hugely annoying.  It’s no fun when you can’t go anywhere.  I’d much prefer it to be raining.  Hmmmpfh.

Aw - a quick pic of my cards including one signed by all my work colleagues.  Cute!

EmBRACE-ing a small taste of independence

So coming off the painkillers perhaps wasn’t my best idea.  I managed ok all day but couldn’t sleep that night so ended up popping a pill at 2am.  I just don’t like taking medication.  I’ve cut them down but I think I’m going to switch to over the counter medication when I go to the pharmacy tomorrow.

My shin has been really sore, not all the time but it feels like it’s burning sometimes.  I’m not sure what it could be.  It’s possible it’s the blood from the bruising and the liquid draining down from my knee with gravity.  It would be nice if there was a professional I could ask but I don’t get to see my surgeon until the end of October.  Perhaps my new PT will know.

Two weeks post op today!  And that means one thing.  I’m allowed to take off the brace!  So I’m slowly wandering around my home without a brace and without crutches.  I feel very delicate and vulnerable – like a new born foal.

Since the sun was shining, earlier today I ventured over to the green across the road to practice my walking, read my magazine (book still hasn’t arrived!) and get some air.  I managed it on one crutch – it’s probably about 300 yards.  I also wore the brace for this little venture – just to be on the safe side.  Inevitably, the sun went in as soon as I got there but, hey, it was a change of scenery.  And I got some great tips from Cosmo – I may have even found a new moisturiser...

Last night I had my first night out post op which was very exciting!  I’m a very sociable person and rarely turn down an invitation so it’s difficult for me to be missing out on all the fun stuff that’s going on.  But, not to worry - we went to the pub across the road.  Not a great venue, nor a very atmospheric one – and I can’t even have a drink yet - but it was really nice and the evening went very quickly.

My surgical stockings are starting to drive me a bit bonkers now.  Two weeks of wearing them day and night means they’re literally falling apart.  I have to keep darning them – who darns things any more??  But it has to be done as I’ve only got one pair and another week to go.

So I have a physio appointment tomorrow.  I was bending my knee on the table at 73 degrees last week.  If there’s no improvement I’ll be very unhappy.  I’m hoping to be at 90/100. 

I’ll report back.

Desperate to make a splash

Today I decided to try and stop the painkillers.  So far it’s not too bad.  My knee is achy and sore and I have a few twinges here and there.  It might help my physio exercises if I take them but I’ll see how it goes. 

I’m still getting my knee bending to about 90 degrees.  Hope I can push it a bit further by the end of the week.  I'll get frustrated if I don’t see a marked improvement.

I literally cannot wait to get back in the hydrotherapy pool.  It made such a difference before the surgery.  It’s not possible until my incisions have healed properly I guess but I’m taking a dip just as soon as I’m allowed!  I really really can’t wait!

I’ve had to tighten my brace.  It was tightened on Thursday at physio but I suppose my thigh is shrinking!  I’ll keep doing the leg raises to build up muscle!  I've done four lots of physio today followed by ice packs.

Also today I've been getting stuck into plenty of personal admin tasks which I never seemed to have time to do til I became housebound - and checking several times to see if the postman has brought my new book.  He hasn’t.  My friend has bought me a copy of Cosmo so fashion and gossip will have to do in the meantime.

And I thought I’d just add a picture of my poor little (well not so little) knee now the plasters are nearly ready to come off.  Perhaps don’t look if you’re having your lunch.

Book me a flight to Tokyo

I have no idea if anyone is reading this blog.  It's good for me to chart my recovery process for my own personal use but if it helps anyone in the meantime, well that can only be a good thing.

Another week off work stretches before me.  I've not been bored at all yet.  I've had lots of visitors and things to do.  There's plenty of time for boredom to kick in though.  I think this second week may get quite tough.  There was so much going on during the first week.

Well it's now been 11 days post op.  I'm allowed to take the plasters off today and have a shower without wrapping myself in clingfilm but I couldn't do it!  One of the larger incisions still looks a bit raw so I might give it another day or so.  It's not nice seeing so many scars on my leg - there are six incisions (some smaller than others) all together - but it's a small price to pay for an active lifestyle I reckon.

My thigh is positively shrinking!  After only 11 days!  So today I added leg raises to my physio routine and I've also been walking around my home in my brace but without crutches.  It's great being able to carry things but I hope this will give me some muscle strength - and I have been told to weight bear after all so hopefully I'm not pushing it too soon.

Got to wear the surgical white stockings for another week and a half.  This look is all the rage in Tokyo - if I could wear heels I'd really be on trend over there!

Woof woof

It has now been eight days since surgery.  I’m feeling better in myself since I cut my painkillers down to one at a time rather than two.  I’m finding I’m really tired in a morning, I have to force myself out of bed really otherwise I’d just stay there all day I’m sure.  Although that was pretty standard before surgery!  I guess my body is healing and I need to rest.

The past couple of days I’ve been able to venture outside.  My Mum has been driving me around although it’s very difficult getting in and out of a car since I can’t bend my leg all that well.  I can’t fully weight bear and I’m not going very fast on my crutches but it’s nice to get some air.  I’ve customised my crutches.  You’ve got to keep it funky people!

I went to my first post operative physio session yesterday.  It was quite positive.  I think I’m on track with progress.  Lying flat I’m able to bend my knee to about 75 degrees at this stage.  Sitting on a high chair I reckon I can get it to about 90.  So disappointed to learn that my PT has another job and is leaving me just when I need her the most.  I feel like an abandoned puppy.

Also yesterday I found out that my PCL tear was a grade II/III which surprised me as I definitely heard it snap and thought it was a complete tear.  I suppose it was hanging on by a thread as I had a lot of laxity.  My next physio appointment - with the new guy - is next week.

I have a few exercises to be getting on with.  Not as many as I’d like – I want to speed the process up as much as possible – but if we have to go at it slowly then I’d better follow the advice.  The exercises are squeezing my quads by flexing my foot, and sitting on the table bending my knee as much as possible.  And of course learning to walk properly.

To check my incisions were healing up ok, I went to see the nurse after physio.  All seems fine and I'm allowed to take the plasters off this weekend.

I was supposed to be going to a summer party tomorrow but it’s not going to be possible.  My dancing feet are up on the sofa until further notice.  Sniff.

Cling film - not just for sandwiches

So it has now been a few days since surgery.  Lots of visitors, cards and chocolates!

The bandages came off on Saturday.  I’m quite squeamish and had to lie down afterwards.  Good job I'm not a leg model or I'd never work again - lots of lovely scars.  I’ve changed the plasters but I’m keeping the trendy surgical stockings on!  I have to wear them day and night for three weeks.  It's hot under the duvet I can tell you!

I’m trying to keep my feet up as much as possible but the rest of the time I’m managing to get around my pad on crutches.  I’ve not been outside yet though.  I’ve been told I can weight bear but psychologically it’s quite difficult.  I’m not quite sure how much I can push it and I’m looking forward to seeing my physio next week for some advice.

The most exciting event so far is that I’ve been able to have a shower.  My friend brought me some Waitrose cling film to wrap round my leg.  I practised on my arm first and, once I was confident it worked, I wrapped my leg up.  Sexy!  But how good did it feel to wash my hair!

In more exciting news, my cross stitch embroidery of two tango dancers arrived today.  Embroidery is not really my thing but I refuse to watch daytime tv all afternoon so it'll keep me out of trouble.  I've also ordered a tonne of dvds.

Would love a glass of merlot but got to stay tee total until I'm off the medication.  Trying to keep cheerful and picture myself a few months down the line taking a dance class!

Not your average day

So it had been nearly six months since my tumble in The Alps and my knee was not even close to feeling any better.  Time for surgery! 

It was scary.  I can’t lie.  Everyone else in the waiting room seemed really relaxed, reading books, chatting and making jokes.  My problem was I was too focused on the risks when I should have been thinking about the benefits of having a fully functional knee again.

I arrived at the hospital at 7:30am after four hours sleep (four hours more than I expected) as I was told and was thrown into action. I was measured for surgical stockings, had my blood pressure taken again and given a locker. Then my surgeon’s deputy came along to ask me lots of questions and make me sign a very scary consent form, not forgetting to inform me that I was undergoing a ‘major operation’. He proceeded to whip out a marker pen and write PCL with an arrow pointing to my knee on my shin.  Branded.

If that wasn’t enough, the anaesthetist then took me to one side and told me that when I woke up I’d be in ‘extreme pain’ for about six hours and would be on morphine. By this point I was really doubting my decision to go through with this. I mean the surgery is optional, right? I could live without it. Of course I’d be confined to a life without my beloved dance, without running, without step aerobics. Hey – most people would love an excuse to lie on the sofa night after night.

These were the thoughts that were running through my head and, even as I was being given the anaesthetic, I wondered if everyone in Theatre 4 would be really mad at me if I changed my mind.

Waiting to go into theatre, my heart was beating so fast.  I could hear it on the machine.  Everytime an anaesthetist mentioned anything about the surgery it would speed up again.  Honestly I’d be useless at taking a lie detector test.

And then I woke up with a heavily bandaged knee and was offered a chicken sandwich and a hot chocolate. I felt elated. The relief it was finally done was enormous.

The operation had taken two hours. I don’t know exactly what has been done yet, I’ll find out at my next appointment.  I’m not sure if any of my old PCL was used in the reconstruction or a new one was made completely.  It’s also likely that there was further damage to my knee that needed to be sorted out so I’m waiting to hear about that too.

The physiotherapist came to see me and suggested a couple of small exercises to be starting with.  Then I dusted off my crutches and made an attempt at the stairs before chatting to the nurse about medication and going home.

Quite an eventful day.

I've just had surgery - and this is why

I had my PCL reconstruction two days ago.  I'm going to blog about the experience but, first, this is my story of how I tore my PCL and why I needed the operation.


Six months ago I was blissfully ignorant as to what a PCL was. 

My story is this - I felt something snap in my leg when I was skiing in March this year. My leg went floppy and caused me to fall (I think I hit an icy patch and turned badly but I really don't know). I was stretchered off the mountain and an MRI scan confirmed it to be an isolated PCL complete tear. My holiday was ruined and I was pretty much housebound for five weeks following my return to the UK.

I started with physio and hydrotherapy in April shortly before returning to work and almost (but not quite) had full movement in my knee five months down the line. I still felt very injured though and had pain (mainly on the inside of my knee) and swelling.  Some days were better than others - some days I would limp, some days I would walk fine. I could just about sit cross-legged although not comfortably for very long and I could almost touch my bum with my heel whilst doing a hamstring curl - although I had  to release it very slowly as it hurt to do so!! I had started to get a cracking/clicking in my knee when walking which I found really uncomfortable.

I'd started swimming (although sometimes this was diffficult but I was just desperate to get fit again) and had even tried running both with and without the bulky brace. The running was hard though and I sadly had to pull out of the half marathon I was due to run in October. Despite this, I thought I was doing ok but then a few weeks ago I stood up, my knee cracked and it completely gave way. It had been very delicate since and I felt like progress had stopped.

I'd met with my consultant a couple of times and he'd tried to put me off having the surgery. It's a technically difficult operation and rarely performed. My consultant described the surgery as 'challenging' and a 'big deal'. But, unless I was prepared to give up my active lifestyle, then a reconstruction was the only option.

My surgery was scheduled for 8 September (two days ago) and I'll write about the experience shortly in my next blog.