241 days since the last time I ski-ed and 64 days post surgery.
Going back to work has been absolutely exhausting. The first week was the hardest, this week has been slightly easier. I’m enjoying the social aspect of it but concentrating was difficult after seven weeks, plus concentrating on being so careful all the time is just as tiring. I’m managing to do some physio during working hours but there’s nowhere really very private so I’m always a bit on edge in case someone walks in. I try and go for a stroll outside when I can. One good thing about being back is the stairs. I've been asked why I don't use the lift but the stairs are great because there's a bannister on each side so I can practice while taking some of the weight with my arms.
I’m wearing my snow boots constantly. They’re anything but elegant and it’s tricky finding outfits that will work with them (!) but I witnessed someone slipping on a wet leaf recently and, although he found it quite amusing, that absolutely can’t happen to me. So sensible snow boots it is. Who knows, maybe this student look will catch on.
Generally things are ok. It’s quite tough at times though. Being back at work makes me feel like life is normal again but it’s not. It makes me more aware of everything I can’t do. I can’t socialise unless it’s local. I can’t go to the shops at lunchtime or go for a run. I’m so envious of everyone; people think nothing of squatting down on their heels to reach into the fridge or running up the stairs two at a time.
I’m having a few issues straightening my leg and then immediately bending so that’s something to keep an eye on. The bending however is getting quite good. I must be at about 130 degrees now as it’s close to matching my other leg which is 140. I can’t kneel down yet though or sit cross legged.
The other day I was reaching across the kitchen bar at work and filling a glass with water from the filter tap and it suddenly occurred to me that I was leaning forwards on my bad knee with all my weight on that side. I hadn’t even thought about it. A small subconscious movement which means a lot.
I’m trying the gym again next month. And hopefully the incision on my thigh will have healed in the next few days and I can start hydrotherapy. I miss exercise more than I ever thought possible. I’m craving that feeling you get after working out. That post exercise glow when you’ve pushed yourself and you’re aching - but in a tingly good way. I feel sluggish and lazy. I’ll probably ease myself back into it by going swimming – hopefully in the not too distant future. I think I’d be ok to go now but I’d have to do the crawl and that’s knackering. Breast stroke would twist my knee too much at the moment. I’ve missed dancing more than anything over the past eight months. Even more than chocolate chip icecream when I was dieting. As soon as I’m mended I’m taking every class going – street dance, zumba, ballroom ..... But for now I'm continuing life as a couch potato.
